It is believed that about one fifth of all people struggle with shyness. Some accept it and count being intimidated among their character traits. Others look for a way to get rid of shyness. If you're reading this, you probably belong to the second group.
Hypnosis helps with shyness on an unconscious level. Since shyness has a lot to do with one's own felt identity and relationship with the outside world, hypnotherapy is very suitable for getting rid of shyness.
Old beliefs and blockages can be dissolved and we can make room for a natural, healthy self-confidence.
How the whole thing works I explain to you here. So that we can treat the shyness from the ground up, the reasons must also be able to
There are many theories about how shyness develops. Science has identified many characteristics that can promote shy behavior. Among them is the perception of the world. Also different centers in the brain are held responsible for it and the even partial shyness is considered to be the result of genetic inheritance.
Some say introversion is the trigger and it is simply an unchangeable trait.
A lot of things may be true, but first of all this is a bit too top-heavy and secondly I am not a fan of "that's just the way it is, there's nothing we can do about it except learn to deal with it" when it comes to stressful characteristics. Because my experience shows me that with the willingness to change something, we can usually change something.
And anyway: shy people generally have the tendency to think too much. So I think we can make it a little easier for ourselves: Shyness comes from being intimidated. When other people intimidate me, I logically react with shyness. The exception is only the shy people who overcompensate. But basically, the uncomfortable feeling arises from the presence of other people.
So the shyness is a result of the relationship of "I and the others". If "the others" are felt to be big and I feel small, then the fear is a logical reaction.
But how does this "me small, others big" come about?
In the many hours I've worked with people with social anxiety, there's hardly been one where we haven't talked about parenting.
No living being thinks of itself that "the others" are more important than itself. Such thinking and especially feeling is almost always a result of education.
Many parents mean no harm when they want to instill a certain kind of manners in their children. However, the "I" is often overshadowed by the "man.
If too much emphasis is placed on "what do others think" in public behavior, then one's own development is inhibited bit by bit.
If there is no agreement, either one's own feelings are more important or those of others.
If one is now sent into the world as a well-behaved child with this way of thinking, experiences of a negative nature are often added to this.
Those who have learned to take a back seat hardly stand a chance against those who do not.
So our clever unconscious recognizes social interaction as a source of emotional and sometimes even physical pain.
Since pain and being hurt is not great, it starts to want to protect us from it. And how does the unconscious communicate that something is dangerous? With inhibitions and fear.
Just as we have learned not to touch the stove top, education and experience have made "the others" seemingly big and dangerous.
When the feelings and needs of others take precedence in a conflict, the only solution is to avoid the conflict. Thus, a withdrawal and intimidation takes place.
Most shy people are very empathetic. That's actually a good thing. But just because you have a big heart, you shouldn't let everyone in.
Those who look at the world too much from the point of view of others are often not in touch with themselves enough.
In such cases it is clear that one withdraws. Those who cannot yet decide with whom they feel sympathy must withdraw in order to keep some energy for themselves.
A certain amount of shyness is quite normal in children. At certain stages, it is even part of healthy development. In the process, this relationship between "me and the others" settles down. And if you have your first experience of what assholes other children can be, you can't blame them for shying away to a certain extent.
However, the well-adjusted adult should have learned one or another method of dealing with other people. Whether they are sympathetic or not.
Certain mistakes in upbringing should also have been eradicated. One of the bad realizations of growing up should have been that you realized that mom wasn't always right either and therefore you don't always have to let others go first.
But if you're still overly shy on the road as an adult, that may be an indication that it hasn't happened naturally yet.
So if you're an adult and still struggling with shyness, it may be time to change something on the inside.
Certain of my clients who are plagued by shyness tell me that many people around them don't even realize how shy they actually are. Often those around them think that someone who is actually shy, that person is cold or arrogant. Others cover up their social insecurity with exuberance, which ultimately also puts off the person across from them.
While this is a good way to avoid social situations (e.g., by simply not being invited), it is not particularly conducive to good social interactions. On the contrary, it can make the problem worse, since an arrogant or pushy demeanor generally leads to rejection, which then leads to more intimidation, which then leads to more defensiveness and arrogance.
So this circle should be broken as soon as possible and replaced by a healthy self-confidence.
So what can you do about shyness? Hypnosis of course
Shyness is considered a disease when there is great suffering because of it. In such a case, it is called a social phobia, which is considered a mental disorder. The transition is fluid and therefore about the same applies to both.
There are many tips on how to overcome shyness. However, a conscious change of behavior is often not the whole solution. Far too often, people make plans to appear courageous or self-confident, only to react intimidated again in the moment.
Of course, there is a place for courage in such cases, but the relationship between "I and the others" must be fundamentally clarified.
Only if we also unconsciously and instinctively display the self-confident behavior, it is possible to permanently overcome shyness. So the self-confidence must come one way or another from within and by itself.
To create these changes at the deepest level, there is hardly a better way than hypnosis. When we use hypnotherapy to replace shyness with something more useful, the changes often come about all by themselves. So that nothing has to be played anymore, but instead it is really felt.
If you want to stand up for yourself with all your heart, you should also allow yourself to feel everything that is there. And this is an important part of getting rid of shyness with hypnosis. Because in the hypnotic trance there is a coming together of all the parts that otherwise function independently.
You can think of these parts as the heart and the head, or the inner and outer self, or the unconscious and the conscious. Either way, all parts must pull together if you want to be confident and secure.
If the others seem big and we ourselves seem small, then we have to change this view. Most people would know how to grow internally. Especially when you want to stay calm in certain situations, you are advised to find your inner center.
But there is not only rest, but above all power. For as we say, there is not strength in rest, but rest in strength. He who is strong can also remain calm. This is confirmed not only by the bear.
If we hypnotically activate this inner power and allow the strong heart to beat only for us, then this growth can come about. The others become smaller, while we ourselves become bigger.
In this way, we also clarify the relationship. When one's own feelings are allowed to become so intense that the others are overshadowed, then it also becomes clear which ones are more important.
If we learn to overcome our limitations and inhibitions, we can also overcome shyness with hypnosis.
People who are shy often want to come out of their shell. But they are often stopped in their tracks by certain blockades. "Can I only look for myself?" I am often asked. "Yes" I usually say, "If you don't like to lift your own backpack, you shouldn't let others do it for you".
With hypnosis we can make the corset of education a little wider, so that there is air to breathe. Most of the time we don't have to throw away everything we were taught, but we have to sort out what doesn't fit and what inhibits. This way we can release the inner blocks and develop more self-confidence with hypnosis.
When the space of possibilities is expanded, it becomes possible to come out of oneself. When one's own feelings are no longer doubted, one usually allows oneself to show them.
Shyness is basically also a way to protect ourselves. But if we no longer want to simply avoid social situations, then we need a different form of self-protection in such moments. It works best when we learn to close ourselves up inside. Grow a thicker skin, so to speak.
With the methods of hypnotherapy we can stimulate exactly that inside. There are different types of suggestion for this, but it is important to separate the outer from the inner in such a way that the good stays inside and the bad outside.
Thus, it is possible to protect the inner atmosphere in such a way that one can be on the road confidently and free from shyness.
If we start to communicate and influence on the unconscious level, then we can also do something against possible loneliness and isolation. Because if we allow ourselves to divide people into those who are important to us and those who may be indifferent to us, then we can open up where it is good and close where it does not fit.
This promotes social skills and also allows for creative opportunities, even with people who are not familiar.
We have seen that how we deal with the outside depends essentially on how we deal with the inside. How we perceive our environment is determined by ourselves. Or rather, our unconscious determines it.
So if we want to get rid of the essential inner workings that sustain shyness, we need an approach to it. Just consciously setting out to do something is usually not enough.
That is why hypnosis is the best choice for shyness. Because with the methods of hypnotherapy we can apply targeted changes at the unconscious level, which bit by bit reduce shyness and promote relaxation with hypnosis.